Why I Don’t Think We Should #banbossy

I don’t think we should ban the word bossy.

As you all know, the latest 4 color glossy GSUSA PR campaign has been “Ban Bossy.”  Here’s the description per the banbossy.com website:

When a little boy asserts himself, he’s called a “leader.” Yet when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded “bossy.” Words like bossy send a message: don’t raise your hand or speak up. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood. Together we can encourage girls to lead.

So you say – “Amy, what’s wrong with that?  You don’t agree?” 

Yes, I do agree, but let’s cast this in a different light.  Let me preface by saying that I realize they don’t mean for the word bossy to be literally erased from the dictionary.  I’m also NOT arguing that a campaign about girls’ leadership should not be promoted.

I just think it ought to be reframed in a more positive way and tone other than playing the victim’s card – at least that was my first impression.  If you dig deeper, there’s some great information about how to encourage girls to speak up and become leaders (e.g. Troop Leader Tips).

If you’re called bossy, then you’re really not a leader.  No one likes being told what to do.  In addition to promoting and encouraging leadership, we should also teach girls how to become effective leaders.

In 5th grade, I was voted to be the captain of our safety patrol team.  Man, I was pumped.  Our safety patrol was going to be the BEST EVER! And to be the best, I enforced every rule and let everybody know about it.  If you were tardy, you were written up!  If you were just a few steps away from your post, you were written up!  And I let you know about it!  Well, halfway through the year, the safety patrol got to vote again.  I wasn’t reelected.  In fact, I went from being the captain to stationed at the lowly bike rack.  I think maybe two kids in the whole school rode bikes.  Not only was I far away from the rest of the safety patrol team, the bike rack wasn’t under a shelter like the rest of the stations.  So I had to stand out in the rain with my safety patrol raincoat even though no one rode a bike in the rain.

Well, needless to say, I was devastated.  I asked a friend why I wasn’t reelected, and she said, “You were too bossy.”  I was shocked and had no idea what I had done wrong.  But looking back, I really WAS bossy.  The definition of bossy is “given to ordering people about; overly authoritative; domineering.”  I was an ineffective leader.  But I learned a LOT from this experience, and in the 12th grade, I became drum major of our marching band.  I remembered that just telling people what to do doesn’t make for a great leader.  I received a lot of positive feedback from band members on what worked and what didn’t work.  Plus I had just finished up being a Senior Girl Scout and earned my Gold Award, so that helped me become a leader too.  😉

Are girls more likely to be called “bossy?”  Probably.  Do they have to work harder to be effective leaders?  Maybe. But it’s 2015, and we’ve come a long way, baby.  Just in the world of politics  – and regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum – we’ve got Sarah Palin, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and Mia Love.  The governor of my state is a woman!  Go Nikki Haley!

You might think I’m just nitpicking and arguing over semantics.  But I think it’s something that should be reconsidered. As you all know, GS has been under attack from the inside and outside for a while now.  Coming across as “poor us” just doesn’t inspire anyone.  It’s old and dated.  Let’s take what we’ve done for over 100 years and continue to build on it instead of rehashing past PR campaigns.