The Scorpion Patrol at Our Cabaña

Our Cabaña has a new mascot, and they are asking you to name it!  They’ve already named it Iggy!

Personally I would have given it a scorpion for a mascot, but obviously that wouldn’t go over so well in the cute and cuddly department.  No, I wouldn’t have actually suggested a scorpion.  Maybe a cute scorpion.  Just kidding (not really).

Well, WHY should it be a scorpion you ask?  Or even if you don’t ask, I’m going to tell you anyway. 

I have no idea if Our Cabaña still does this, but when we visited in 1988, there was a brave group of women known as The Scorpion Patrol.  Mexico has a few species of extremely venomous scorpions.  And they live in Cuernavaca.  We were told that if we saw a scorpion, DO NOT try to kill it yourself.  And don’t panic.  There was an intercom located in each cabin, and we were told to immediately dial 4 to summon The Scorpion Patrol.

They would arrive in short fashion wearing large straw hats and heavy duty shoes and carrying brooms and insect spray cans.  Usually there were four of them (“they” being our counselors), and they would tell us to STAND BACK!  They made short work of the scorpion much to the loud cheers of the cabin occupants.  It was a grand spectacle.

They would show up DAY or NIGHT!  No matter the size of the scorpion – it was no match for The Scorpion Patrol!

However, we were warned.  If you dialed 4 and there was NO scorpion to be found, then you were in deep doo-doo.  Usually that meant you had to do a ton of kaper duties the next day.

Near the end of our stay at Our Cabaña, each cabin had to put on a skit.  Along the lines of the famed Alien Biscuits story, our cabin decided to make up our own.  So – all of us came up with The Scorpion Patrol rap.

Each of us had our own stanza and was accompanied by beat-boxing and hand motions and what all.  Just imagine this in the style of Run DMC and Jam Master Jay. I found the papers where we had written it all down the other day.

And it goes a little some’m like this:

Amy, Sarah, and Bert have something to do,
It’s a rap we made up – just for you

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Get out of the way
‘Cause here they come
It’s the Scorpion Patrol
On the run!

They’ve got sprays and brooms
And running shoes too
They kill all the scorpions
(everybody) THAT STING YOU!

(beatbox)

You push the four button
On the intercom phone.
The staff screams loud
At the sound of the drone.

(everybody)  BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

They come with the spray
That shoots through the air,
The scorps fall off the wall,
(everybody) SO COVER YOUR HAIR!

(beatbox)

The spray comes out
And it kills the bugs dead.
It smells so bad
That it stinks up the bed.

They wear straw hats
Cause the scorps fall down
The five look silly
(everybody) CAUSE THEY LOOK-A-LIKE CLOWNS! (somebody snaps)

(beatbox)

The patrol gets mad
If they come in and see
That the scorpions are
Not what they seem to be.

So if it’s a roach
That you can kill with a shoe,
The Scorpion Patrol
(everybody) WILL KILL YOU!

(pose with arms crossed)

But unlike Alien Biscuits, this skit was met with very loud applause and laughing.  It was so popular that we were asked to perform it twice and write down a copy for the Our Cabaña staff!  Now that’s entertainment!