Well Behaved Women
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change lives, councils, delegate, facebook, governance, gsusa, leadership, making a difference, national delegate, volunteers
I’m sure we’ve all seen this quote before, but it was featured on the GSUSA Facebook Page yesterday:
Somewhere along the line, a man spoke up in the comments section and said he didn’t think breaking the law and misbehaving was what scouting was all about. A huge discussion/argument broke out, but I thought this OFFICIAL GSUSA statement summed it up very well:
Then I thought to myself, it’s a little ironic because there are cases where volunteers have spoken up when they see things in their council or GSUSA that are wrong (or could be improved if you want to spin it positively!), but they’ve been silenced through various means whether it’s through pressure or just flat out removed from the program. Or it could be that they silenced themselves – which is usually the case. They don’t want to bother or they don’t feel like it affects them directly, so it’s not important. Or they feel like it wouldn’t make a difference. Or for the worst reason of all – they don’t care.
Whenever we see quotes like this, I think we tend to relate them to the topic of what’s currently in the news or to big historical events. But to me, it’s more than that. People like to share graphics and make statements on Facebook, but are they speaking out personally when it comes to the day to day things or the organizations they’re directly involved in? Do they reply to an email containing statements that aren’t true, or do they stand up and ask an uncomfortable question in front of a roomful of people? Do they say something and risk being criticized? Or do they just sit there silently?
I think this goes even further than just speaking out. Do they question what they’re told in the first place? Do they just go with the flow and ignore that nagging feeling of something’s not quite right? Or dismiss it with a “Surely this could not be the case?”
While the hot topics of the day are important causes, I believe it’s harder to put Ulrich’s quote in action for what you’re dealing with on a personal level. Failing to question what you’re told or not acting or speaking up on the little things will lead to one day looking around and finding those little things aren’t there anymore. And what are the hot topics based on if not the little things?
Awesome post today
Lovely blog. I’ve had this saying on a magnet on my desk for years… it was a gift from members of my team one year – very early on in my career. We saw issues, we pushed for change, we proved better workflow, and we made a difference (and a profit). It’s also a reminder that problem solving is not misbehaving though sometimes it is perceived to be. It’s the “be careful” reminder to approach things so as not to be perceived as misbehaving. Then again it is also the reminder to use my talents and skills to quickly discern problems in organizational flow and abilities to present other ways to get more done faster with less resources at the appropriate times. No longer do I believe that GS – USA or my council – cares about the talent of the volunteer so I am no longer willing to go out on the limb to speak up. For GSUSA to latch onto this as a public statement that this represents courage, confidence, and character is simply amazing. As in really, my jaw is on the floor, and I had to look twice that it really said GS. I think it (GSUSA) needs to examine what is happening (has happened) – and really closely examine it – at the GSUSA staff and all council staff levels. When GS leaders/volunteers – the paying MEMBERS – see a problem and take the time to offer alternate solutions to reach common goals offering ideas/solutions that are more efficient than the way a young, inexperienced GS staff team wants to accomplish something are are met with dismissal or dismissive ‘we know better than you’ attitude, okay… I don’t need to or care to be the one standing up and raising the uncomfortable question/s. Really, why bother? When we have an organization that is supposed to be member led but is really being manipulated by ineffective boards (not trained, do not understand the girl or governance for that matter) and paid staff focused on meeting membership and revenue targets to keep jobs or get raises rather than to quality programming (that keep girls coming to camp) – the misbehaving women that have been shut down head to boy scouts… or somewhere else where their talents are honored, thanked, and utilized. And believe me – there are some (most of us actually) AMAZING women doing incredible things in our careers (and at home) and with our girls that could be leveraged and who do see issues but do choose to keep focused on the girl and not try to fix the swamp. Imagine if we were welcome at strategic discussion levels what the replacement for Journey’s could look like. (ooops… pot stirring) I believe that when GSUSA and its councils can re-invigorate it’s volunteer force to feel valued – one in which the staff actually partners with to leverage the voice, experience (a whole lot of depth and breadth), and willingness rather than to stifle and shut down, then GSUSA has the capacity to post this saying. For now, it is completely out of character for GSUSA to be touting this quote – unless this is a mantra of our CEO and she’s trying to lift up the staff – then okay… I’ll roll with it. That may not sit well with those that are loving GSUSA and their council leaders right now. And of you in that category, please do stand up and tell me I am off base. This is a membership led organization in which the volunteers are a robust and very knowledgeable (collectively) group of women who are NOT allowed to lead it forward in the manner in which it was designed – corporate exec boards focused on the 990s and annual funding who are spending way too much money earned on the backs of little girls and volunteers on frivolous things… Ahh, my misbehaving on a Friday is done… thank you GS with a Cause.. thin mints and champagne here I come!
People only heard the “sound bite” and forget all about the context:
Well-Behaved Women?
Harvard Historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Lectures on March 5
By David Foster ’10
March 6, 2008
While working on her first scholarly article as a graduate student at the University of New Hampshire, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich never expected that an article about puritan funeral services would immortalize her on tee-shirts and bumper stickers. The Harvard historian, who lectured at Hamilton on March 5, was exploring a neglected group of quiet and well-behaved puritans who were ignored in favor of more sensational topics such as witches. Yet in describing the servants’ humdrum rituals, Ulrich famously quipped, “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” Although the phrase was intended to focus attention on the dutiful puritans, Ulrich reports that her phrase has since been used in an opposite sense that implores women to break out of the mold and challenge authority.
In her recent book Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History, Ulrich explores the relationship between women and history. As she tells it, traditionally “considerate meant deferential, and respectful meant obedient…. No one likes a know-it-all.” She explains that a dichotomy shapes our examination of women in history: either they are benevolent caregivers who nurture children, or they are trying to appear masculine by speaking up and misbehaving. Those women who misbehave are considered “Amazon women,” she tells, adding that historical figures such as Joan of Arc have been so-labeled. Yet even the Amazon woman is duplicitous: “If the Amazon’s on my side, she’s great. If she’s on your side, she’s slime,” Ulrich added.
Ulrich explained that the split between allegedly “well-behaved” and “mischievous” women is apparent in today’s politics. She told the stories of two Iraq war veterans: Jessica Lynch, a supply expert who was the sole survivor of an Iraqi attack on her jeep; and Lynddie England, a perpetrator of torture upon detainees at Abu Ghraib prison in Baghdad. While Lynch was considered a nurturing and caring woman, England was viewed as a renegade who flaunted societal expectations of women.
Thus the “well behaved woman” was one that was seen, not heard, and little was noted about her life other than “she was a good wife and mother.”
Thanks for sharing!
It can be hard to speak up about things that matter. That’s why we must all try to do it, no matter what. And Girl Scout Official Program has changed many times throughout the years – – I think it will change yet again. Many of us worked hard to get an Outdoor Journey for more levels. Troops are now using these. Yes, we need even more change. I think most of us agree with that.
We must all Take Action for the changes we want. Speaking out is one way to do that. This is a Democratic group still, and we have more power than we know. This applies to Girl Scouting and the wider world around us as well.
Girl Scouting taught me this. I have not been perfect in following what I know is right, and sometimes I have failed to speak up in the moment about things I know are wrong. But I am learning and do it much more than before. It’s important. Whether we do it loudly, in public, or take a behind the scenes role, we can all help. It’s something that we can teach the Girl Scout girls too. They will soon be the Movers and Shakers.
For GS-Amy: Please keep on posting, commenting, and starting great conversations. Your energy is contagious. AND It is much appreciated! 🙂
Thank you for the kind words. 🙂