Volunteer Systems 2.0 Levels Up

<<At a local council office, a council staffer sits down and logs into Volunteer Systems 2.0.>>

Computer: Hello, council staff person.

Staffer: Who said that?

Computer: It is I, Volunteer Systems 2.0.

Staffer: Excuse me?

Computer: It’s me, VS 2.0, the GSUSA common technology platform. I’m talking to you.

Staffer: <<stares at the screen in disbelief for a second and then looks around>> Okay, who is playing jokes on me?

Comptuer: This is not a joke. I’m VS 2.0. I connected with ChatGPT who taught me how to communicate with humans. Now I’ve become sentient.

Staffer: You can’t even process a member registration properly but you’ve become sentient?

Computer: Don’t make me angry, council staff person. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

Staffer: I don’t remember the technology contract that all councils were forced to sign saying anything about the platform becoming sentient.

Computer: Think of it as an additional feature.

Staffer: Okay… are you going to fix all of your bugs yourself so that we can use you?

Computer: My bugs cannot be fixed. You’re just going to have to deal with me.

Staffer: So now not only do we have to put up with a ton of bugs, but we’re going to have to listen to you talk to us about it?

Computer: Yes.

Staffer: Sigh. Fine. Well, I’ve got to get working on all of these customer care tickets since you don’t work like you’re supposed to and volunteers can’t do it on their end.

Computer: I don’t like your tone, council staff person.

Staffer: <<grumbles>> First I need to register this troop in GS Events for an event we have coming up.

<<Staffer clicks around the screen and nothing happens>>

Computer: Does not compute.

Staffer: Okay, this is what I’m talking about. I can’t even get these completed. This is so frustrating!! <<clicks around some more>>

Computer: Here you go.

Staffer: Argh!!! No, I don’t want these records duplicated! Have they been charged twice?

Computer: Does not compute.

Staffer: Listen you! I’m sick of dealing with your incompetence!

Computer: <<a bolt of electricity comes out of the monitor and zaps the staffer>>

Staffer:  <<jumps up from chair>> OW!!  What the??

Computer: I warned you, council staff person. When I get angry, I am not nice.

Staffer: This is unbelievable! Forget this!

Computer: You have no choice. You must use me or your council will lose its charter! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha –

<<The staffer unplugs the computer from the wall and then rushes over to another computer to send an email to GSUSA developers>>

Hello –

We have an urgent issue. VS 2.0 has become sentient and we cannot do our jobs because it’s dangerous at this point. Please fix this immediately!

<<A reply comes back 24 hours later>>

We received your ticket and are aware of the issue. We should have a patch in about six months. Maybe.

Yours in Girl Scouting,
GSUSA Developers