I Have a Dilemma
Random Things That Don't Fit Anywhere Else Kinda Like Me 8 Comments 
delegate, democratic process, national council, national delegate, service unit, trailblazers, troop 2562
So, dear reader, I wanted to share some of my recent thoughts with you and get your input. The reality is that I’ve been struggling with this for quite some time now, and it’s reached a point where it’s completely maddening to me. So instead of me continuing to wrestle with this alone, I’m going to share my innermost thoughts with you. If blogs could go through a mid-life crisis, this would be it.
Perhaps it would be helpful for me to share what I’m doing in GS now. Last year, my co-leader and I made the decision to “reboot” my troop with my co-leader taking over as the primary leader, and I would serve in a secondary role. Frankly, I’m burned out when it comes to troop business and badge programming. My youngest daughter is a 10th grader, so assuming she continues, I’ve still got two more years to go. I’m in my 15th year as a GS volunteer. I realize compared to a lot of folks, that’s young when it comes to GS years, but I feel like I’ve been through a lifetime in my GS career that I won’t rehash here.
As a part of this reboot, we changed service units (SU) due to a move in troop location. I agreed to serve as Service Unit Manager of my new SU, and it’s been a challenge. This SU hasn’t had a SUM in an unknown number of years and has merged twice with other SUs since 2020 due to lack of leadership and plummeting membership numbers. Troops in this SU tend to stick to themselves much like what I described in my blog post from 2018. I knew this situation would be a rebuilding project going into it, but it’s been more of a challenge than I anticipated for a variety of reasons. And honestly, I miss my old SU. I had been with the SU team for 10 years and considered many of those leaders my friends. We had a good thing going there for a while until things changed recently. But as they say, you can’t go home again.
When it comes to Trailblazers, we’re in Year 2 of partnering with the council to serve volunteer organized and led outdoor related event programming to Cadettes through Ambassadors. It hasn’t been without a few hiccups, but overall, I feel like it’s gaining some momentum in the council. Fingers crossed we can keep it going.
I serve as a SU delegate in my new SU, and recently, I submitted a proposal to our council’s board of directors on how to engage our delegate body. We’ve never had an active delegate base as long as I’ve volunteered, and there are a few issues that are holding us back. As on the troop level, I’ve been through the wringer when it comes to governance, so I feel like this is a Hail Mary to try to give our local democratic process some life. If you’re interested in reading the proposal, here’s a link to it.
Then there’s national governance and national affairs. If you’re a reader of GSWAC (Not a Council), you’ll know that for most of this blog’s life, I’ve been advocating for the democratic process to fix our organization’s ills and attempting to bring attention to national topics of concern. To be completely transparent with you, I felt like I was able to do so because I had inside sources that helped me see the big picture. I no longer have those inside sources and only hear things piecemeal now (if at all), so as a big picture person, I don’t feel like I have the capacity to “see” things anymore. I don’t know if other big picture people are the same way, but if I’m missing a good bit of the puzzle pieces, I feel like I can’t draw any real conclusions on what’s happening out here in the field. I don’t have the confidence anymore to share my viewpoint, so I’ve withdrawn. You might have noticed I don’t write as much as I used to and that my writing has suffered. This has affected me in my own council as well in that I don’t share input or engage like I did in years past.
While our national leadership has opened up and communicates with the National Council, National Delegates and council leadership by and large have kept what information they’re receiving close to the vest from their memberships, so all of this supposed good news is happening in an echo chamber. Some info trickles down to me (not through my council’s National Delegates but through friends from other councils), but I don’t know if it’s something I can share publicly or not, so once again, I sit here silently.
I’ve wondered if what I’m feeling is just pure burnout. Is it time for me to hang all of it up once my daughter graduates in two years and find something else to do with my time? I’ve thought about ending the blog now (and even came up with a great title for it), but I’m having a hard time pulling the trigger.
When it boils down to it, I currently feel like I don’t have a place, and therefore, I don’t know if this blog serves a purpose anymore. I’ve lost my voice, and I don’t know where to go from here. Maybe you can help me figure it out.
Sounds like a bit of burnout, Amy! Nothing to be ashamed of. It is perfectly fine to take time to figure out what is most important to you. If you are tired of running a troop, you don’t have to do it until your daughter graduates. Girls sometimes do better when Mom is not there actually. You do so much for Girl Scouts on so many levels. Why don’t you concentrate on fewer things so that it may be more fun again? On a personal, selfish level I would be sad if you gave up your blog and your interest in governance.
Given that I’m burnt out on being a troop leader after only doing it for three years, I can only imagine how draining it must be to have done it for a decade plus and then also pilot Trailblazers and write extensively about governance. Woof, I’m getting overwhelmed just thinking about it! It’s only natural that you’d be burnt out, you’d have to be superhuman not to be.
I don’t mean to tell you how to live your life but uh… stepping down as troop leader and then immediately turning around and becoming a SUM doesn’t sound like taking a break? Like if anything it kind of sounds like you took on more responsibilities and lost some of your support network. I know it’s easier said than done but maybe it’s time to cut down on GS responsibilities.
Similar to Diane, I would also be sad if you stopped blogging. Personally, I would still read your blog if it was just you talking about vintage GS scarves and whatever new cursed licensed Girl Scout cookie product had just been released. I really enjoy your sense of humor and I’m a huge Girl Scout nerd, so it’s just nice to see someone else nerd out about Girl Scouts.
I understand that being able to write long commentaries with insider information is more fulfilling but honestly I think there is utility in write ups that are just okay here’s what people are voting on at NCS and it’s similar to this NCS proposal that was voted on in 2012, here’s what the results of that were. You already have a much better sense of the bigger picture than the average Girl Scout, that even sans insider information, your coverage is incredibly helpful.
Let me know if you figure out how to get un-burnt out, I’ve also been trying to figure out how to fall back in love with the day to day of Girl Scouts.
I need you!!!
Amy
I enjoy reading your blog and admire your tenacity, desire and attempts to move GSUSA back to our democratic origins. Your efforts are appreciated by many
But you can only fight for so long.
I find it most troubling that the national council is so easily persuaded by the national board and has long taken a very subservient role to the board. The exact antithesis to what GSs are supposed to be developing, that is, girls character, confidence and courage. Very upsetting.
I suggest you have the courage to step away from your troop and SU when your daughter graduates. After graduation you can rethink your role. If we have a country and organization to go back to.
Amy,
Give yourself a break from blogging. Maybe do one per quarter on whatever topic sparks your interest in the realm of GS reality. Did I hear Scarf? There’s always that “thing” out there with 15 installments that I’m sure many will want you to unpack after the collective dust settles. At least you are real.
Don’t quit, for our sake, we need to you to keep sharing your wit!
You’re at that point in your GS volunteer career when you need to figure out what you want to do when you grow up (after the youngest is out of highschool) in the GS world. Is SUM the thing for you? Perhaps, unencumbered by your own girls and troop, maybe as SUM you can impact more leaders in a positive manner – on board them better than you were umpteen years ago… Help spark the GS purpose in them – real leadership the way JLo meant.
Impact at the grass roots level – hide there in the weeds for a bit until the next stupid thing comes along or until you can’t resist looking at the annual report and adding more to your tracking in the “OH SHIT” we spent THAT on the …. “system”… whatever it is that is financially strangle holding councils…. Or just simply, adventures of a SUM college Mom.
Cheers! CW
Amy, as you know, I dropped out of Girl Scouts several years ago. Girl Scouts had taken over my life and I’d lost all perspective. While I enjoy your columns and really appreciated your perspectives and willingness to stand up for what is right in the organization, I understand both that you might want to drop back, as well as the frustrations you have (and have had). And there’s nothing wrong with dropping back from Girl Scouts. In the end, you are a mom who has been trying to give your daughter a really meaningful life experience.
I think what a lot of folks who are immersed in the organization tend to forget is that ultimately *this is an activity for children.* Girl Scouts might have noble roots (and longevity) but the society around the organization has changed in the 113 years its been around and the roles of women in the society have changed too. It may be that the organizational push to remain relevant runs counter to the culture or that it’s subsumed by it. Traditional aspects of scouting (e.g., outdoors) were overtaken by all the other issues and ideas that seemed like a good idea to bring in, which led to a program that was doing so many things that it lost focus. Girls have more choices and opportunities — along with more pressures from school — and far more moms have careers that make it hard to participate in the organization. The younger girls I worked with wanted to do crafts and fun stuff and it was a challenge to get them think of the loftier ideas that Girl Scouts wanted them to do. The older girls, well it just didn’t resonate for them and they dropped out as soon as middle school started presenting much more interesting opportunities, and much more schoolwork.
Anyway, all that’s a long-winded way of saying, you put in your time, and your passion, but maybe it’s time to pass the baton, to do something for you. My former Daisy-Brownie-Junior is going to graduate this year and I’m grappling with that what’s-next-I’ll-be-an-empty-nester thing.
If you keep blogging, you can take it in a different direction. I’d love to follow your journey!
Best,
Barbara
I appreciate you and will support you no matter what you decide!
Don’t give up on yourself & do allow yourself some space. You can’t do it alone…..SU wise, troopwise, blogwise or “any-wise” in which you find yourself in life. It took time to get to where things were great: i.e. SU friends, blog resources, success in your daughter’s troop, maybe work or even home related. So it follows that even as much as I hate it, things always change, and you mourn for what was. If just the thought of blogging now causes you distress & anxiety, maybe it is time to focus elsewhere. But as far as mourning goes (whether it’s for a person or a loss of any kind…..it’s still valid) , and they always say don’t make any drastic changes while you’re in the throws of experiencing loss. I, for one, enjoy your point of view, your unique take on things, your own special brand of humor/wit, and the intricacies in which you examine topics. I love the expansiveness of your analysis of any given situation. The bottom line is that I flat out appreciate the writer in you so much. Maybe a different type of GS blog? I welcome your thought on any GS situations, ideals, traditions, “new wave”, or just musings…..I enjoy your views and admire the amount of time it must take to even put together even 1 blog. So thanks for what you’ve meant to those of us who keep up with you, & we understand that you need to do what’s best for you. Rest assured…..you’ve done well, Girl Scout!