I believe of all of my Girl Scout memories, this has to be my favorite one.  I hope you find it as entertaining as I do.  I tell it much better in person than I do in writing, so just bear with me.  Yeah, I know I said I wasn’t going to post as much before school started, but I got on a roll. 

Here’s the quick backstory:  My best friend Barbara and I attended the 1984 Northeast Georgia Council Girl Scouts Summer Camp which was nowhere near as exciting as the 1983 one.  In fact, after the whole “The Ghost That Turned Out To Be a Plastic Bag” Incident (not my fault – I swear), I have a feeling the council decided to make summer camp not quite so intense and held it at a church on the west side of Athens.  But back to Barbara & me – when it came to silly, Barbara and I were innovators.  We pushed the limits of silly.  I don’t believe we were in the same sessions for the camp, but we did eat lunch together.

During lunch, we thought we’d make up a new kind of sandwich.  Made up of mayonnaise and potato chips.  Genius!  Not quite as epic as The Breakfast Club‘s sandwich of Cap’n Crunch and Pixy Stix, but what is? But who would eat this strange kind of sandwich?  Why aliens, of course!  And they wouldn’t call it a sandwich, but a biscuit!  Because they’re aliens, that’s why!

Fast forward a few months:  Every spring the NE Georgia Council would host the Ingathering, which is just another name for an encampment.   Not everyone from our troop could go, but there was usually a core group of us that always went to these events.  They were so much fun!  I’m not sure which camp we stayed at this particular year (1985), but some included Camp Rainey Mountain (a Boy Scout camp near Clayton, GA) and Camp Wabak.  If I had to guess, it would have been Camp Rainey Mountain because I don’t think Camp Wabak had a large outdoor pavilion at the time.

Each troop had to present a skit to the other troops in the council.  Well, everybody did the same ole skits that you’ve seen a million times, like the “If I Weren’t a Girl Scout” and the “I Gotta Wee Wee Riding on the Bus” ones.   Sometimes they were duplicated – bor-ring!  But not Troop 20!  We decided we were going to make up our own skit!  But what to do?  We put our heads together, and Barbara and I convinced the rest of the troop to make a commercial.  For what?  Alien Biscuits, of course!  We grabbed an easel pad and a black marker from Mrs. Vickers’ car and got to work immediately.  After about an hour, our masterpiece was ready. We just KNEW this was going to blow everybody out of the water and put the rest of the skits to shame.  Get ready NE Georgia!

Get the picture:  On Saturday night, all of the troops gather under this large outdoor pavilion that had a very high ceiling.  Somebody from the council gets up and starts talking about stuff we probably need to know but don’t really care about.  Blah blah blah blah.  Barbara and I lose interest very quickly and begin to recreate the Stone Mountain Laser Light Show on the pavilion ceiling using our flashlights. I vaguely hear someone say, “Who wants to go first?”  Then Barbara and I slowly realize that everybody is looking at us.  The council leader smiles sarcastically and says, “How ’bout the girls who are shining their flashlights up on the ceiling?”  Barbara and I nonchalantly put our flashlights away and innocently turn our attention to the stage.  The council leader keeps smiling and says, “How ’bout the girls who just turned off their flashlights?”  We look at each other, shrug our shoulders, and say, “LET’S DO IT!”  I may have even commented “Y’all PREPARE yourselves!” to the audience on the way to do our thing.

We get the stage set up.  Someone (sorry, don’t remember who it was!) mans the easel and turns the pages when needed.  The rest of us stand in the middle of the stage.  We say in unison, “PRESENTING… ALIEN BISCUITS!”

We take turns telling the audience about how Bleep the Alien crash-landed on earth and brought his favorite sandwich with him from his home planet.  Somebody flips through the easel pad depicting Bleep’s travel through space (using drawings of UFOs that look suspiciously like the saucers from Plan 9 from Outer Space) and his subsequent crash.  Then it all leads up this!  The Alien Biscuits jingle!

♫ Alien Biscuits, crunch yum! ♫

Me:  Go home and tell your mom about Alien Biscuits!
Jenny:  And if she asks what in the world – [points to audience] I mean universe! – they are, tell her –
Barbara:  They are mayonnaise and potato chip sandwiches. [pause for audience to say eeeewwwwww!]

♫ Alien Biscuits, crunch crunch!
Alien Biscuits, yum yum!
Alien Biscuits,
Alien Biscuits,
Alien Biscuits, crunch yum!  ♫

[Please note that the jingle has hand motions.  If you ever meet me in person, ask me to sing the jingle and do the hand motions.  I will be more than happy to grant your request.]

We wait for the thunderous applause!  But instead, we get crickets – literally.  It’s an outdoor pavilion after all.  We look out into the audience where other scouts are staring back at us with various portrayals of “what the heck was THAT?” imprinted on their faces.  We then look to our left where the council leader is standing on the stage, and she’s also staring at us with a confused and bewildered look (and probably thinking, “Whyyyyy did I have them go first?”).  We then look to our right where Mrs. Vickers is clapping and saying, “They are so creative!!”  THANK YOU Mrs. Vickers for recognizing our brilliance.

We plod off the stage, and the council leader walks back on (making sure to steer clear of us) and says, “Okkaaayyyyyyy…. so who wants to go next after THAT?”  We sit down deeply disappointed and watch a few “If I Weren’t a Girl Scout” renditions for the rest of the night.

THE END!

P.S.  We were definitely famous (in INfamous?) if we weren’t already after Saturday night.  We’d get “Hey, y’all are that Alien Sandwich troop!” from other scouts in passing.

P.S.S.  Sadly, Barbara moved to Snellville in the summer of 1985, so our scout shenanigans ended on a high note with Alien Biscuits.  But what an ending!

P.S.S.S.  Dangit, why didn’t we ever make Alien Biscuit SWAPS?  Barbara, we need to get on this, stat!

P.S.S.S.S.  Barbara and I couldn’t find any original drawings of Alien Biscuits, so we’re going to have to go with a current drawing of Bleep: